Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
