put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
