I'm lost and stupid without you.
You're so nebulous sometimes
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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