You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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