hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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