i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
