i can't believe i had my finger in that
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
