It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
