I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
