Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
