She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
