It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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