we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
