he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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