I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
