She's JV to your varsity
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I have tasted many bathrooms
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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