this beer tastes like vomit already
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
