He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I haven't been this sober since birth.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
