So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
love makes seman taste better
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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