i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
