3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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