dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
