if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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