grandma shit on top of the toilet
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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