You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
