I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
