He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
