So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
