grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize