just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
