the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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