My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
