the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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