i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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