no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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