did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
