that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I came so hard my ears popped.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize