This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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