bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
