I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
