Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
