Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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