I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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