just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
