also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize