Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
