Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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