They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
