smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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