i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
