Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
