I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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