It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
