I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
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