Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
how does that bad decision feel?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
