You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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