he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Life is so much better after having sex.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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