i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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