No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
