i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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