I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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