if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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