hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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