And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
