you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
